Selfness, Pleasing, Acceptance

I do and say things, because i don't want any regrets in the future. I don't want to have to think about what if, if only, and so forth. Can't live life like that. As i progress to the person i am slowly becoming, I intend to keep doing what i do, open up more and confess to w.e my mind and heart desire. Life gets you unexpectedly. So why not live everyday as if there is no tomorrow. Whether or not people will get offended or upset, sad, happy, excited, and or w.e it is they will feel. How can you disappoint, when things in peoples life already done all those, how bad can you just confronting to w.e you gotta say and do be any worse. Especially if all people desire nothing but the truth, honesty, loyalty, and no secrets kept from them. Especially if they are the topic of it all. I just don't want to hold back anymore from anything or anyone. I could have never do that to people, be straightforward, because all i could think of is "I don't want to hurt that person, nor what them hating me". Well now, i'm changing that mindset of mines and my heart. I want people to know me foreal as who i truly am and want to really want to show me. I want to be accepted being all that i am regardless how i come upon people. Only to be respected, for who i am, not for half of what i am, but all i am. Its tough though, you know?! People ask for all that loyalty, honesty, and being all straightforwardness. Yet they lack to take all that in, and accepting all that people are giving them what they ask for. People are the hardest thing in the world to ever be pleased; no wait only to those who have the understanding of it all, are hard to be pleased. Why can't we all be pleased saying we want something and when we have it, and be okay with it and not be angery. We people as a human race are so complicated, even the simple people can be complicated. As much scientist and other smart ass out there, will never find the answer, in books, and studies and so forth for the answer. All I know is I can't please everyone, even though i want too. The person I should only be pleasing, is myself, im a liar to myself if i can't, and makes me a liar to everyone else. Huys the struggles of pleasing, and selfness. That's life for ya, aye!?

L.O.V.E.!

L.O.V.E.!

I want someone to love me not because of the mask makeup i wear, but the beautiful me behind the pretty and beautiful mask. Also not by my first impression, but for what they do know about me. Willing to continue to a journey with me and falls in love, knowing exactly what they are getting themselves into. Because as i get old, i wont be beautiful. If he becomes blind his heart will not. Looking with the eyes is wonderful. Though its not as wonderful and special when looking with the heart. Love is from the heart, and not the eyes. Love is rare, yet people seem to assume love isn't rare, and can easily be found. Love is not a toy you can meddle around with. Love is precious, love is the strongest power. So handle it with care. If you can't handle love, relationship will fall. Just know Love isn't reckless, the person was reckless, not being able to handle the power of love. Love is beautiful and powerful in any relationship, whether its the love for friends, family, strangers even, your pets. Everyone and animals need some love to their day, and to their heart.

Photoshoot October, 9th 2013 with Photographer Ryan Hardy

Hey everyone so Finally I got to see my photos. They came out great already posted two of them for 2 of my blog post I recently did. I've seen a few of his work from before and to now, he has grown in his skills and work. If anyone is interested getting their photos done, wedding, prom, senior photos, and or to build up your portfolio I will put a link of his FB pg. Below!. Any questions please feel free to ask him. As for myself as a new upcoming model. I will be determined to become better and work on things that I lack, to the very best of me. I've done some photoshoots before, but that was before considering to actually becoming a model. I hope this career takes me far, as among many other things as well.. Have a great Sunday!..

All photos were taken at Downtown Lancaster, PA.

Photo taken at Binns Park located in Lancaster City.

Taken right in the center of Downtown Lancaster, PA Right across from the Beautiful Marriott Hotel 

Just chilling laying on the bench at Central Market in downtown, while the wind is blowing my hair, like as if I'm in some tv commercial lolz

Binns Park

This happens to me my most favorite picture of myself in front of the Central Market. Ryan takes pride in his work, but had an uh oh when capturing this photo of me. Didn't set the camera to focus on me, and i was soft. Didn't want this up, I completely understand, even though.This photo came out amazing to me, and so does other who have seen this photo. I love it. 

Here is the Link to Ryan Hardy pg.

Ryan Hardy FB

Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork!

When you're ready, i'll be right here waiting. Im not going to go anywhere. Even if I'm in the middle of running my life together. Just know i'll be even better knowing you decided to run along side with me, as I would with you. Sometimes its better in pairs, when both have hopes and dreams to lead. That you would have support and a backbone, at any given time. In relationships, people tend to not do that for one another. To comfy just sitting around doing what couples typically do. When i rather have a relationship, where my man is going to support me, push me, be there for me when it comes to me going forward with whatever it is, I'm going for, as so vise versa. Relationship is also a team effort, support, guidance, even coaching has some part in it. I know everyone has a dream, has goals they want to accomplish. Yet they say when in a relationship, that sort of stops a person. I don't want to stop anyone from reaching for what they want to go for. My man can go and chase for what he is dedicated to chasing to be successful and happy. Be nice if he does want me involved and be there to help, support, and cheer him on. I don't mind it at all, don't want him thinking like "Oh man i don't want to have to drag my girl everywhere, she might not want to, or is going to be uninterested and etc". No, I'll be more than happy to come along and it not being such a drag. As i expect the same, when its my time. Yeah.. its a fantasy, some may say its never a beautiful picture as you are saying it and thinking about it. Yeah that maybe so, there are gonna be some hard times. Thats what teamwork is all about and support. Also to have a well good understanding of each other. Before putting yourself in that situation, just be sure you can handle it. remember, you are also trying to get to where you want to be as well. Gonna take some time, a lot of patience. You really just got to work together, and hope for the best for both, and that eventually everything will fall into place. To be able to enjoy everything, you gotta go through sweat, pain, tears, and heartaches. At the end you can say "It was all worth it". You got your life going, your partner got his/her life going, and yet both are together loving each other and are as happy as can be. Hoping for the best. Love each other, if truly do love. I honestly can say as a personal experience though, To truly have that and want that, you have to believe in that person and what they are going for and vise versa of course. For it all to work out.

Don't Give Up!

So many people in the world give up on the most amazing thing that could possibly happen to them. Love for instant. Just because you've been in love once and it failed, doesn't mean you can't love again and again. Until you found your soulmate. Never give up on love, even if it may seem you are walking a lonely road. You won't, someone won't let that happen to you, because they don't want that for themselves. Work, careers, future, are the next big thing people give up on. People hate working, because they never went and chased their dreams, and or career. You can work and still try to get a career you been wanting to be in. Its going to take dedication, sweat, and hard labor. Nothing in life will come easy financially wise. You want to be rich or have money that you wont have to worry about becoming broke. Bust your ass off to get to that. Do everything you can, even when it seems like there maybe, be no hopes after all. There are hopes, just don't give up. Millionaires, and Billionaires never did. How else they became so damn rich. Also just be glad you got a roof over your head, cloths on your body, and food on the table. Also the fact you even have a job, to pay things that are needed. Some people struggle to get jobs because of health issues, backgrounds, and no experience. People will turn you down. They may say they don't discriminate, they actually do, but try to be low key about it. If so they do find jobs it was a struggle for them, but you got a clean background, no health issues, and have some experience. Why do you feel like you need to give up, when they didn't. Next topic, now a days i see parents abusing kids, killing their kids starving them. Because they say they can't take care of their kids, they don't want to, they are lazy, they are better off without one. My heart cries for babies and kids who have unfit parents. They shouldn't give up either, if parenting isn't for them they should have never had unprotected sex or use plan b. If not give their kids up for adoption. Its not giving up really, but a better choice. Doing everything they can so that their kids could have a better life, with better fit parents. We including me, given up on something so simple, that could be fixed or simply be answered, yet we don't cause I honestly will say, we learn more to give up quicker then not giving up, because it was that easy for us, and move on. That only made it more difficult for us in the long run. Im trying so hard not to give up now, after everything thrown in my life has put me though. Why should I now and anyways? Im young, have so much energy, so much life in me. I need to do something with all of it. So should you, and anyone else who think to give up. DON'T!!!!! I see people with disease, cancer, and disorder who never gave up, and fought to the very end. When even though it seems like there are no hopes and future for them. They end up proving everybody wrong. They prayed, have loved once who prayed for them, they got heart for life. Even though sometime cancer, and the disease, have beaten some of them, the one thing they never did, was give up, lived life, not knowing how long they got to live. We of all people should be doing that ourselves.

PROGRESS, TIME, PATIENCE

To all my dearest friends, bloggers, viewers, etc... who are trying to get into the entertainment business and who already are, keep doing your thing, don't take the negativism, as a sign as to you failing. Take that and turn it into inspirations, to keep doing better. But wait a minute, don't mix up hatred over a misunderstanding over criticism. Those two things are a BIG difference. You're going to have liars who will not confront you truthfully, and that maybe a setback into your dreams and future, if you tend to believe in those people. Yes they will put a front, either because they want to see you fail, and or because they just can't be honest and don't want to hurt your feelings. You need those who will be blunt to you, that's the only way you can possibly go far. Those are the people who want you to succeed, and do everything in your powers to fix yourself, to progress in your work. Everything will take some time, but its up to you if you're willing to be patient to get to where you need to be, and want to be. Don't lose focus on what you strive for, don't let it become a blur. Make it clear, see it, and don't ever lose the sight of it, and but not least hold on to it tight. This message goes for anybody who strives for success, who has dreams and a future drawn into their notebooks, and is wanting that to be reality. Good Morning and Happy Tuesday!.

                                                                             Many Love From,
                                                                                               - Your Pretty Little Asian; Soka! MWAHS!!!!!!!
                                                       

Why Y0u Wr1t3 L1k3 Dat Foh?

The way some people write on social networks and text.. Im just looking at them like O_o :/ :? :| -_-  _-_ ?_? >_< WHAT???!!!!!! & have to go through Urban dictionary and or having to reread it 2+ times. Its always a guessing game at first, until the game fails miserably. Then that's when i'll be like what did you say? Can you rephrase that for me? Or could you write in a better format?When that doesn't work I just give up and not even reply back.. lolz.. Also to make it more difficult, they would make up new slangs, lingo w.e you want to call it and make up new abbreviations, as well. Like come one its 2013 almost '14. What are you trying to prove, being different? You want to be unique or something? Do you really have to type and text, everything out on how you exactly talk? Then there are some people who just doesn't make any sense period. Like they missed a few words, and don't even bother to fix it. You do gotta choice to edited them, and or at least type or text back with what you mean after realizing what you wrote didn't make any sense and unclear with the * at the end. Man, just like my cousin said. Waste of tax dollar on education for some of these people. I hope when they are in a professional field or environment  that they know how to write properly. I mean im no Mrs. Perfect when it comes to my sentence either and grammars are off. At least people can read what im saying, and not have a difficulty of trying to understand me, not having to search up Urban Dictionary or other web source to try and translate. Well thats all my ranting for now.. Time for bed, super sleepy. Good not all Sweet Dreams to another day to come. The Weekend!!! oh yeah!!!!.. 

                                             Many loves from Yours Truly,
                                                                                 Little Pretty Asian- Soka

My Heart Knows what it wants, but Knows better as well.

Its like 12:30 in the morning, can't fall back to sleep after my extended two hour nap. Im just up thinking about so much things, and the music on my "New Edition" radio playlist, which by the way my phone is a windows and doesn't have pandora, even though i've always known and had Slacker Radio. I actually love Slacker Radio though, both the same pretty much. Well anyways, oh man it's crazy how the table turns on you. I've been on a few dates and just hang out with, with a group of people, and which none i actually really liked, like liked liked. Yet they all seem to like me, and want more then being "friends". After I have already told them I don't really want to be in a relationship, Im not really looking for anything or anyone, its so hard trying to get it to these guys head. Its like they can't take a no or something, ugh guys. But one guy FREAK'N ONE GUY, got to me and I really like him, Im not so sure how he feels about me, I honestly don't know, I kind of get mixed signals. With every guy who came across me, never really stood out, never really kept me interested, and plus i have a thing about local guys. I tried dating some and only one i would actually considered, would try staying with, but its to late for that, and im truly happy for that person and where he is. That girl truly is blessed. Well anyways back to the point. We both agreed that we just not ready to be in a relationship, he has a hectic life, and I just came out of a long term relationship. Yet every day we would talk and text each other, well almost sometime every other or two. Then when things sort of cooled down, I sorta lost a bit of interest, then he goes and does or say something and that would make my day. Making me like him again. LIKE WTF!!!!... ugh!!!.. I can't help, but wanting to be with him and see where we could go, then again another part of me is saying, just stay friends im not ready, i got a long way to go, got plans ahead of me, my future, and so on. I know I don't want to be in a relationship right now, though I do miss that relationship bond, like hugging, cuddling, going out, holding hands, those sorts of things. I guess the truth is.. I like the ideas of a relationship, but thats not what I need right now. I want to accomplish my goals, be set. So when the time is right, I'd be ready to be in a relationship again. Im freak'n 21 crying out loud. I got lots of time for a relationship. I just hope he does stay in my life even if it just turns out to just being friends. He is an incredible person, and the fact he isn't local HELLO, maybe thats another reason why i like him much more. Sike Im kidding there is more then just that on why I actually like him and why he stand out. He so ambitious, charming, funny, smart, caring, very lovable, and very loved by many, head on right, head on strong, very positive, and strive for the best and goes for what he believes in. I love that about him, very hot, and he's tall and gorgeous , with a wonderful smile.. Ohhh goshh!!!... My heart want to give him everything, yet it knows better to respect anothers heart and wishes.. I never really understood anything im talking about now, when i was younger. Now i do, sucks growing up sorta. Well im done speaking my heart and mind out. I think Im ready for bed. Good night everyone sweet dreams. Mwahs from your's truly, Pretty Little Asian- Soka!.

A Cup Of Tea

As hard as it may seem, but just know there are some good people out there and who will walk into your life. Don't give up on the good, and expect nothing but the bad. Or else that is all you will b receiving. Honestly how can you want something good in life, yet your so scared of the fear of having something bad. Ying and yang, you can't run away from the bad, the good things in life will come to you, and balance with the bad. Its life, you can't always expect everything to come at you so easily like a cup of tea, and get the better things, without having to deal with some worse of things. That's just how it is. Life isn't fair, but doesn't mean it stops you from having anything good. Well Have a Thriller Thursday until next time.. Many love from your pretty little Asian, Soka MWAHS!!! Take care everyone.. 

By the way. The trees behind my house is absolutely gorgeous.. One of the few things I love about the Fall season.

Sometimes looking at views like this, I already have some of the Finer things in life. ^_^

What does insecurity got to do with it?

I never really had insecurities. Its just that in this day and age, some people make it really difficult to be really trusted. I mean come on can you fully trust someone in a manner of a yr. Some of us don't have any insecurity and low self esteem. Its the matter of fact that people in this world lie so much, and have many tricks. Plus love doesn't all happen over night. I have seen so many people fall in and out of "love" many times while I was in that 5 years relationship. I have seen some people I personally know running games, playing n messing around with good peoples heart. I can really care less or have the needs to ask for the password or snoop into a spouse things, I'd rather have him come to me honestly and openly without the pressure of me saying so. If he does then he is truly genuine. You can't force trust, force for love to happen from your spouse, for you. Cause during the mean time your spouse is going to have doubts about you questions and concerns. Its called being human, insecurity has nothing to do with it. Its all about getting to know you, your actions committing to things you tell your spouse. Pretty much all about your action basically, is what I'm saying. Also the fact who cares if you say your not like the rest. We have to determine that on our own. It truly isn't about insecurity well to me and others who relates, its all about the time and building up to get to that trust for you. If you done something wrong while being in that relationship with your spouse, you really think they can just get over it just like that. Surprisingly lucky enough, that they are even with you to give you another shot. But the shot of trusting you again wont be so easily. Thats your fault, you can't blame your spouse for your actions, then expect everything to be the way they were before.