Its like 12:30 in the morning, can't fall back to sleep after my extended two hour nap. Im just up thinking about so much things, and the music on my "New Edition" radio playlist, which by the way my phone is a windows and doesn't have pandora, even though i've always known and had Slacker Radio. I actually love Slacker Radio though, both the same pretty much. Well anyways, oh man it's crazy how the table turns on you. I've been on a few dates and just hang out with, with a group of people, and which none i actually really liked, like liked liked. Yet they all seem to like me, and want more then being "friends". After I have already told them I don't really want to be in a relationship, Im not really looking for anything or anyone, its so hard trying to get it to these guys head. Its like they can't take a no or something, ugh guys. But one guy FREAK'N ONE GUY, got to me and I really like him, Im not so sure how he feels about me, I honestly don't know, I kind of get mixed signals. With every guy who came across me, never really stood out, never really kept me interested, and plus i have a thing about local guys. I tried dating some and only one i would actually considered, would try staying with, but its to late for that, and im truly happy for that person and where he is. That girl truly is blessed. Well anyways back to the point. We both agreed that we just not ready to be in a relationship, he has a hectic life, and I just came out of a long term relationship. Yet every day we would talk and text each other, well almost sometime every other or two. Then when things sort of cooled down, I sorta lost a bit of interest, then he goes and does or say something and that would make my day. Making me like him again. LIKE WTF!!!!... ugh!!!.. I can't help, but wanting to be with him and see where we could go, then again another part of me is saying, just stay friends im not ready, i got a long way to go, got plans ahead of me, my future, and so on. I know I don't want to be in a relationship right now, though I do miss that relationship bond, like hugging, cuddling, going out, holding hands, those sorts of things. I guess the truth is.. I like the ideas of a relationship, but thats not what I need right now. I want to accomplish my goals, be set. So when the time is right, I'd be ready to be in a relationship again. Im freak'n 21 crying out loud. I got lots of time for a relationship. I just hope he does stay in my life even if it just turns out to just being friends. He is an incredible person, and the fact he isn't local HELLO, maybe thats another reason why i like him much more. Sike Im kidding there is more then just that on why I actually like him and why he stand out. He so ambitious, charming, funny, smart, caring, very lovable, and very loved by many, head on right, head on strong, very positive, and strive for the best and goes for what he believes in. I love that about him, very hot, and he's tall and gorgeous , with a wonderful smile.. Ohhh goshh!!!... My heart want to give him everything, yet it knows better to respect anothers heart and wishes.. I never really understood anything im talking about now, when i was younger. Now i do, sucks growing up sorta. Well im done speaking my heart and mind out. I think Im ready for bed. Good night everyone sweet dreams. Mwahs from your's truly, Pretty Little Asian- Soka!.
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