They Say drinking and driving is Dangerous, Crying and Driving is just as dangerous

Right now im a little sensitive and emotional.. driving with no music n all.. really got me thinking a lot.. 1. was i truly am being nice to those who doesn't deserve it. 2. My high tolerance is starting to become low, and i don't like that.. Im usually pretty good keeping it all in, and just forget. 3. To those who are in my life regardless of who exactly they are, just can't seem to just give me a break, always giving me attitude, talking with a tone that's not necessary at all. Also some how certain people think they know what runs and goes on in my life because i post on fb. Or they like to here certain things about me that isn't recent is from long ago and don't give me as who i am now a chance.. But oh well their lost. 4. Regardless friends or family.. If you can't let go the grudge of what i have done, during my stupid childhood teenage phase, then don't b in my life. Im not forcing nor anyone else for that matter. 5. I can never seem to get a break regardless if its something so small, People would bring things up of me and talk on n on about just that.. 6. The trust i have for certain people are now lost and or not their anymore.. My heart is damaged by so much, idk how much more hurt i can deal with, that my heart can deal with. 7. Certain people are picky and want to be appreciated not from the heart.. They may say that, but truthfully, some want more then just that or expecting their appreciation to b something extraordinary. For me as long, i hear you say or tell me that you are thankful for all i have done for you, and being there for you. Seeing that i am. That's all i want and want to hear.. I just want to those people to know i got them, and that they know i do and to not forget all i've done.. But yeah.. all that was going on in my head for like 15 mins while driving. Also my mother she was on my mind.. I don't like how we just go back n forth nice n then fight n being nice again.. drives me bonkers!..  While thinking of my mom, was when i cried the most.. Been for ever since I blogged about anything.. Been going through a lot and got some things i want to share with everyone.. But wont say until the perfect time.. :) BTW Happy International Women's Day to all my Ladies!!!!...

Believe in Love!

In all my relationship, I've been scared out of, cheated on, emotionally, and verbally abused. Not only that I've been destroyed, and my heart been broken in to thousands of pieces. I still maintain to keep it cool, keep it moving, look ahead. I may have stopped looking for my one half. That doesn't mean I'm giving up hope, on love. I do truly believe i will Find my other half. I'm just going to continue with my life. When that  time is right, I'll know. People seem to think walls are put up because of being scared of going through the same bs. I honestly believe in my situation i'm not scared this time. I learned from each men who came into my life, as friends, as my lover, as just for a moments passing. That i just learned, i picked up things, i can tell more and read better. I've became strong, as my heart did too. I got a better judgement on others then as if i did 5 -10 yrs ago. I'm not afraid, I don't have any insecurity, I know what i want. I know what i deserve. Some men don't understand that, yet I'm okay, because i don't care, and they seem to not care either, and over look and for see to not give credited, and over judge. As much as men think women does it, they as well do the same. To those, don't give up on love. Yet again don't give up your love so easily, that's not what i'm saying. Just know who to give your heart too. Love takes time and patience. How you know its love when its been 1 week? What a bout next week? To those who lost in love, Love will come again. You will fine love once again.. Have Faith! Love will come to you unexpectedly. Don't try so hard to look for love. Having the ideal of what a relationship has to offer is nice and wonderful. Yet are you truly ready to love, and or love again. Ask yourself that.. Well Good night everyone MWAHS!!..

                                                  Yours Truly,
                                                                 Soka!

One Year Weight Lost

Hi everyone I wished i blogged on the exact date of my One Year weight Lost Anniversary. But regardless I made it and I've done it. Starting of January 14, 2013 I told myself i wanted to have the body I used to have before i got heavy. During that time I weighed 165 lbs, Now January 14, 2014 I am now 134.5 lbs That's 30.5 lbs lost. I am so proud of myself, I never thought I would actually achieve my new years resolution. Here is a picture of my transformation. As of my new, New Year resolution for 2014, I plan to lose another 10 lbs by summer. Also to get toned. I've never felt so great about myself in a very long time.. I was one of those people who kept telling themselves i want to look like that person and or how i used to look. Tried, then gave up and just got lazy, and gained even more. Thinking its hopeless now. I struggled so much, yet here I am happy. 30.5 lbs down. and 10 more to go. If a person who has been so negative minded like me, could some how switch that negative thoughts and turned it into positive and very motivated. You also, can do it as well. I'm no Actress, a professional weight lost guru, or anything. I'm just some girl from a small city in PA.

Why Be The "Good Enough"?

Some girls are down to be some guys "good enough". Never should any female and or even males b someones "good enough". They gotta be "The Best" "The One" "The Right One". Because if you accept to be someones good enough, that's all you'll ever be. Until they find their "The One" "The Best" "The right one". That will leave you with nothing.. Why would you want to do that to your self? Don't be the settle for less, Be the settled for The BEST!!!. Think twice before putting yourself in a hurting position. Sometime i can never understand why people put themselves in that situation, like is it because you give up, you don't care, or you just don't have that much respect for yourself. I wonder all the time why people do that to themselves. I shouldn't really care, but honestly i kind of do. Some days i would just want to run up to a person and ask, yet don't want to be such an ass about it making them feel some type of way, which they probably already do. Don't you wonder that some times. Or if you fit the shoe, Have you ever asked yourself that question, and aren't you curious as well to why the heck you do that to yourself. When you know you deserve to be someones best, the greatest thing that ever happen to the other person. Then again, we all question ourselves and of other of the things we and or they do.