They Say drinking and driving is Dangerous, Crying and Driving is just as dangerous

Right now im a little sensitive and emotional.. driving with no music n all.. really got me thinking a lot.. 1. was i truly am being nice to those who doesn't deserve it. 2. My high tolerance is starting to become low, and i don't like that.. Im usually pretty good keeping it all in, and just forget. 3. To those who are in my life regardless of who exactly they are, just can't seem to just give me a break, always giving me attitude, talking with a tone that's not necessary at all. Also some how certain people think they know what runs and goes on in my life because i post on fb. Or they like to here certain things about me that isn't recent is from long ago and don't give me as who i am now a chance.. But oh well their lost. 4. Regardless friends or family.. If you can't let go the grudge of what i have done, during my stupid childhood teenage phase, then don't b in my life. Im not forcing nor anyone else for that matter. 5. I can never seem to get a break regardless if its something so small, People would bring things up of me and talk on n on about just that.. 6. The trust i have for certain people are now lost and or not their anymore.. My heart is damaged by so much, idk how much more hurt i can deal with, that my heart can deal with. 7. Certain people are picky and want to be appreciated not from the heart.. They may say that, but truthfully, some want more then just that or expecting their appreciation to b something extraordinary. For me as long, i hear you say or tell me that you are thankful for all i have done for you, and being there for you. Seeing that i am. That's all i want and want to hear.. I just want to those people to know i got them, and that they know i do and to not forget all i've done.. But yeah.. all that was going on in my head for like 15 mins while driving. Also my mother she was on my mind.. I don't like how we just go back n forth nice n then fight n being nice again.. drives me bonkers!..  While thinking of my mom, was when i cried the most.. Been for ever since I blogged about anything.. Been going through a lot and got some things i want to share with everyone.. But wont say until the perfect time.. :) BTW Happy International Women's Day to all my Ladies!!!!...

Believe in Love!

In all my relationship, I've been scared out of, cheated on, emotionally, and verbally abused. Not only that I've been destroyed, and my heart been broken in to thousands of pieces. I still maintain to keep it cool, keep it moving, look ahead. I may have stopped looking for my one half. That doesn't mean I'm giving up hope, on love. I do truly believe i will Find my other half. I'm just going to continue with my life. When that  time is right, I'll know. People seem to think walls are put up because of being scared of going through the same bs. I honestly believe in my situation i'm not scared this time. I learned from each men who came into my life, as friends, as my lover, as just for a moments passing. That i just learned, i picked up things, i can tell more and read better. I've became strong, as my heart did too. I got a better judgement on others then as if i did 5 -10 yrs ago. I'm not afraid, I don't have any insecurity, I know what i want. I know what i deserve. Some men don't understand that, yet I'm okay, because i don't care, and they seem to not care either, and over look and for see to not give credited, and over judge. As much as men think women does it, they as well do the same. To those, don't give up on love. Yet again don't give up your love so easily, that's not what i'm saying. Just know who to give your heart too. Love takes time and patience. How you know its love when its been 1 week? What a bout next week? To those who lost in love, Love will come again. You will fine love once again.. Have Faith! Love will come to you unexpectedly. Don't try so hard to look for love. Having the ideal of what a relationship has to offer is nice and wonderful. Yet are you truly ready to love, and or love again. Ask yourself that.. Well Good night everyone MWAHS!!..

                                                  Yours Truly,
                                                                 Soka!

One Year Weight Lost

Hi everyone I wished i blogged on the exact date of my One Year weight Lost Anniversary. But regardless I made it and I've done it. Starting of January 14, 2013 I told myself i wanted to have the body I used to have before i got heavy. During that time I weighed 165 lbs, Now January 14, 2014 I am now 134.5 lbs That's 30.5 lbs lost. I am so proud of myself, I never thought I would actually achieve my new years resolution. Here is a picture of my transformation. As of my new, New Year resolution for 2014, I plan to lose another 10 lbs by summer. Also to get toned. I've never felt so great about myself in a very long time.. I was one of those people who kept telling themselves i want to look like that person and or how i used to look. Tried, then gave up and just got lazy, and gained even more. Thinking its hopeless now. I struggled so much, yet here I am happy. 30.5 lbs down. and 10 more to go. If a person who has been so negative minded like me, could some how switch that negative thoughts and turned it into positive and very motivated. You also, can do it as well. I'm no Actress, a professional weight lost guru, or anything. I'm just some girl from a small city in PA.

Why Be The "Good Enough"?

Some girls are down to be some guys "good enough". Never should any female and or even males b someones "good enough". They gotta be "The Best" "The One" "The Right One". Because if you accept to be someones good enough, that's all you'll ever be. Until they find their "The One" "The Best" "The right one". That will leave you with nothing.. Why would you want to do that to your self? Don't be the settle for less, Be the settled for The BEST!!!. Think twice before putting yourself in a hurting position. Sometime i can never understand why people put themselves in that situation, like is it because you give up, you don't care, or you just don't have that much respect for yourself. I wonder all the time why people do that to themselves. I shouldn't really care, but honestly i kind of do. Some days i would just want to run up to a person and ask, yet don't want to be such an ass about it making them feel some type of way, which they probably already do. Don't you wonder that some times. Or if you fit the shoe, Have you ever asked yourself that question, and aren't you curious as well to why the heck you do that to yourself. When you know you deserve to be someones best, the greatest thing that ever happen to the other person. Then again, we all question ourselves and of other of the things we and or they do. 

Successful Women Over Non Successful Women

I have some friends who isn't on the right track in their life. I'm 21 and i got a good job, and my freelance business is going wonderfully well. Even though I'm still dependent at the moment, I'm working on saving and becoming more independent. More responsible money wise, trying to pay things on time, get rid of debt and build on my credit. Then here i go talking about a few girls I know my age some a little younger, and some a little older. They are always in a mess, jobs after jobs, failing in school, quitting. Yet they complain about the life they are in right now. -_- They love going out, partying, and messing around with guys who spoil them rotten like some sugar daddy. Some of those guys are actually a gentlemen, yet they messing with girls like the ones i'm describing. Who doesn't have their head on right, no guidelines to their future. Yet these guys, want to "Wife them". Well some of them anyways. Also crazy thing is some of these attractive men, who does have their heads together, seem to be terrified of me and many women just like me. Who is getting their life together, reaching for our long term goals. Like why aren't we being attracted, yet we attracted the bums, the losers, the scrub, the low lives. Eh! i'll never understand. We're young, beautiful, head on strong and high. We reaching towards our goal, busting our asses off. Yet we can't seem to even grab the attention of a fine looking gentleman who is also just like us. Succeeding, becoming something we hoped and want to be. The cycle of this Universe i swear lolz. Sometimes i wonder, if its because they don't want a woman who is just like them. Does it make them feel like less of a man, cause a girl can hold it down for our own self or what? I tend to always think about this all the time. Do they want a chick who is hopeless, so the man can feel like a man do be able to feel needed and wanted? I have no clue. Im curious though. All i know is, as i am accomplishing and achieving my goals. I would love a man who isn't afraid of me, because of my success, and that he would b attracted, and want partner who is on his level. Strong, powerful, head strong, head high, achiever, and etc.

Music is My Life!

You know what sucks, trying to come out with the right words, of how you exactly feel towards things and or person. You just can't seem to think it right or even say it correctly. Yet when it comes to a song that comes up its telling you, your whole life story of that moment you wish you could have said yourself or do. Yet the music speaks for you. I always tend to listen to music that happens to just be music that is to what i am going through or feeling. Yet i myself can't explain as well as the song. This is why i love music, it explains things for me easier to my situation or to a person. Also certain songs makes me think of the world in a whole new way. See things in different perspective. That's why sometime people can't help, but dedicate a song to someone or listen to music. Because at the moment its how they are feeling and or going through. I love how music in just only 3 4 mins can explain everything. Music, well i should say the lyrics, come from within deep of a person; who's going through certain things and or feeling a certain way. They are trying to express it in a short matter. Like in a poem, I used to write poems all the time. I sorta turned some of them into a song. I'm no song writer, but i can see how writing things down and or finding the right tune can some how create a wonderful masterpiece. Music is my life. People don't kid when they say that. Sound dramatic, but its kinda true. Music do speak!.. regardless if its a message, a moment thing, feelings, etc. Well Happy Thursday everyone been awhile since i blogged about something. My life is starting to fall into place. I can't wait to share it with you all. :) MWAHS!!!!...

- Love from,

               This Pretty Little Asian: Soka!.

Do you believe in the Magic?

Have you ever believed that some things happen for a reason, and people come back into your life for a purpose. Do you believe that fate does takes its place with two people? Do you believe that someone who you randomly think of time to time, & when you think of them more than often. Magically appears, a miracle? I don't know, but im so blessed and grateful for the person who magically appeared back into my life. Its funny, because that same person is the person I would bring up in conversation to if i would ever be with that person again. This one person always in and out of my life, yet every time i keep falling for that person all over again. Idk why, but i hope that person gives me the chance to answer that. Hoping that the "things happen for a reason", miracles, and fate is to us being as one. Which by the way, I'm not saying that person is the one and that I'm in love. Cause i'm not and not so sure what that person will be to me. What I'm trying to say, are we somehow meant to try things again. Are we meant to give it another try. Who knows! Well for the time being, I'm still doing me and that person is doing them. I wouldn't want what we have to be ruined. If things are meant to be it'll happen before our eyes.. One step and thing at a time though. This girl still got many things in her life she wanna do before anything. As so does that person :) If anything, i'll just let fate, miracle and all do its work.

Upgrade!

Upgrade for what?

People say I need an upgrade?

" What more do i need to upgrade then my attitude, my personality, my heart, and set of mind"?

That's when you hear crickets, material things are fine to have, but thats not want i need. Not saying i don't want, i just don't need to at the moment need an upgrade. Until necessary. People forever getting the freshest newest, sneaks, cloth, phones, games, and etc. Im pretty content to what i have. Yeah i want some things other people have, but i brush it off, and move on and forget. If its one thing i get that's the freshest and finest.. ha.. that'll be food.. lolz.. I do have wish list of course, but one item at a time, when I can take one off the list. Sometimes I look at my list and have 10 items i want, I ended up only 2 or 3 from the 10. Im a girl, i have my moments, but i'm patient and always end up realizing more than half the things i wanted, i don't even want no more. Because in all honesty it was never that important. Hoping to keep it up, so i can save. Unless it comes to food lolz I can't resist.. 

Selfness, Pleasing, Acceptance

I do and say things, because i don't want any regrets in the future. I don't want to have to think about what if, if only, and so forth. Can't live life like that. As i progress to the person i am slowly becoming, I intend to keep doing what i do, open up more and confess to w.e my mind and heart desire. Life gets you unexpectedly. So why not live everyday as if there is no tomorrow. Whether or not people will get offended or upset, sad, happy, excited, and or w.e it is they will feel. How can you disappoint, when things in peoples life already done all those, how bad can you just confronting to w.e you gotta say and do be any worse. Especially if all people desire nothing but the truth, honesty, loyalty, and no secrets kept from them. Especially if they are the topic of it all. I just don't want to hold back anymore from anything or anyone. I could have never do that to people, be straightforward, because all i could think of is "I don't want to hurt that person, nor what them hating me". Well now, i'm changing that mindset of mines and my heart. I want people to know me foreal as who i truly am and want to really want to show me. I want to be accepted being all that i am regardless how i come upon people. Only to be respected, for who i am, not for half of what i am, but all i am. Its tough though, you know?! People ask for all that loyalty, honesty, and being all straightforwardness. Yet they lack to take all that in, and accepting all that people are giving them what they ask for. People are the hardest thing in the world to ever be pleased; no wait only to those who have the understanding of it all, are hard to be pleased. Why can't we all be pleased saying we want something and when we have it, and be okay with it and not be angery. We people as a human race are so complicated, even the simple people can be complicated. As much scientist and other smart ass out there, will never find the answer, in books, and studies and so forth for the answer. All I know is I can't please everyone, even though i want too. The person I should only be pleasing, is myself, im a liar to myself if i can't, and makes me a liar to everyone else. Huys the struggles of pleasing, and selfness. That's life for ya, aye!?

L.O.V.E.!

L.O.V.E.!

I want someone to love me not because of the mask makeup i wear, but the beautiful me behind the pretty and beautiful mask. Also not by my first impression, but for what they do know about me. Willing to continue to a journey with me and falls in love, knowing exactly what they are getting themselves into. Because as i get old, i wont be beautiful. If he becomes blind his heart will not. Looking with the eyes is wonderful. Though its not as wonderful and special when looking with the heart. Love is from the heart, and not the eyes. Love is rare, yet people seem to assume love isn't rare, and can easily be found. Love is not a toy you can meddle around with. Love is precious, love is the strongest power. So handle it with care. If you can't handle love, relationship will fall. Just know Love isn't reckless, the person was reckless, not being able to handle the power of love. Love is beautiful and powerful in any relationship, whether its the love for friends, family, strangers even, your pets. Everyone and animals need some love to their day, and to their heart.

Photoshoot October, 9th 2013 with Photographer Ryan Hardy

Hey everyone so Finally I got to see my photos. They came out great already posted two of them for 2 of my blog post I recently did. I've seen a few of his work from before and to now, he has grown in his skills and work. If anyone is interested getting their photos done, wedding, prom, senior photos, and or to build up your portfolio I will put a link of his FB pg. Below!. Any questions please feel free to ask him. As for myself as a new upcoming model. I will be determined to become better and work on things that I lack, to the very best of me. I've done some photoshoots before, but that was before considering to actually becoming a model. I hope this career takes me far, as among many other things as well.. Have a great Sunday!..

All photos were taken at Downtown Lancaster, PA.

Photo taken at Binns Park located in Lancaster City.

Taken right in the center of Downtown Lancaster, PA Right across from the Beautiful Marriott Hotel 

Just chilling laying on the bench at Central Market in downtown, while the wind is blowing my hair, like as if I'm in some tv commercial lolz

Binns Park

This happens to me my most favorite picture of myself in front of the Central Market. Ryan takes pride in his work, but had an uh oh when capturing this photo of me. Didn't set the camera to focus on me, and i was soft. Didn't want this up, I completely understand, even though.This photo came out amazing to me, and so does other who have seen this photo. I love it. 

Here is the Link to Ryan Hardy pg.

Ryan Hardy FB

Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork!

When you're ready, i'll be right here waiting. Im not going to go anywhere. Even if I'm in the middle of running my life together. Just know i'll be even better knowing you decided to run along side with me, as I would with you. Sometimes its better in pairs, when both have hopes and dreams to lead. That you would have support and a backbone, at any given time. In relationships, people tend to not do that for one another. To comfy just sitting around doing what couples typically do. When i rather have a relationship, where my man is going to support me, push me, be there for me when it comes to me going forward with whatever it is, I'm going for, as so vise versa. Relationship is also a team effort, support, guidance, even coaching has some part in it. I know everyone has a dream, has goals they want to accomplish. Yet they say when in a relationship, that sort of stops a person. I don't want to stop anyone from reaching for what they want to go for. My man can go and chase for what he is dedicated to chasing to be successful and happy. Be nice if he does want me involved and be there to help, support, and cheer him on. I don't mind it at all, don't want him thinking like "Oh man i don't want to have to drag my girl everywhere, she might not want to, or is going to be uninterested and etc". No, I'll be more than happy to come along and it not being such a drag. As i expect the same, when its my time. Yeah.. its a fantasy, some may say its never a beautiful picture as you are saying it and thinking about it. Yeah that maybe so, there are gonna be some hard times. Thats what teamwork is all about and support. Also to have a well good understanding of each other. Before putting yourself in that situation, just be sure you can handle it. remember, you are also trying to get to where you want to be as well. Gonna take some time, a lot of patience. You really just got to work together, and hope for the best for both, and that eventually everything will fall into place. To be able to enjoy everything, you gotta go through sweat, pain, tears, and heartaches. At the end you can say "It was all worth it". You got your life going, your partner got his/her life going, and yet both are together loving each other and are as happy as can be. Hoping for the best. Love each other, if truly do love. I honestly can say as a personal experience though, To truly have that and want that, you have to believe in that person and what they are going for and vise versa of course. For it all to work out.

Don't Give Up!

So many people in the world give up on the most amazing thing that could possibly happen to them. Love for instant. Just because you've been in love once and it failed, doesn't mean you can't love again and again. Until you found your soulmate. Never give up on love, even if it may seem you are walking a lonely road. You won't, someone won't let that happen to you, because they don't want that for themselves. Work, careers, future, are the next big thing people give up on. People hate working, because they never went and chased their dreams, and or career. You can work and still try to get a career you been wanting to be in. Its going to take dedication, sweat, and hard labor. Nothing in life will come easy financially wise. You want to be rich or have money that you wont have to worry about becoming broke. Bust your ass off to get to that. Do everything you can, even when it seems like there maybe, be no hopes after all. There are hopes, just don't give up. Millionaires, and Billionaires never did. How else they became so damn rich. Also just be glad you got a roof over your head, cloths on your body, and food on the table. Also the fact you even have a job, to pay things that are needed. Some people struggle to get jobs because of health issues, backgrounds, and no experience. People will turn you down. They may say they don't discriminate, they actually do, but try to be low key about it. If so they do find jobs it was a struggle for them, but you got a clean background, no health issues, and have some experience. Why do you feel like you need to give up, when they didn't. Next topic, now a days i see parents abusing kids, killing their kids starving them. Because they say they can't take care of their kids, they don't want to, they are lazy, they are better off without one. My heart cries for babies and kids who have unfit parents. They shouldn't give up either, if parenting isn't for them they should have never had unprotected sex or use plan b. If not give their kids up for adoption. Its not giving up really, but a better choice. Doing everything they can so that their kids could have a better life, with better fit parents. We including me, given up on something so simple, that could be fixed or simply be answered, yet we don't cause I honestly will say, we learn more to give up quicker then not giving up, because it was that easy for us, and move on. That only made it more difficult for us in the long run. Im trying so hard not to give up now, after everything thrown in my life has put me though. Why should I now and anyways? Im young, have so much energy, so much life in me. I need to do something with all of it. So should you, and anyone else who think to give up. DON'T!!!!! I see people with disease, cancer, and disorder who never gave up, and fought to the very end. When even though it seems like there are no hopes and future for them. They end up proving everybody wrong. They prayed, have loved once who prayed for them, they got heart for life. Even though sometime cancer, and the disease, have beaten some of them, the one thing they never did, was give up, lived life, not knowing how long they got to live. We of all people should be doing that ourselves.

PROGRESS, TIME, PATIENCE

To all my dearest friends, bloggers, viewers, etc... who are trying to get into the entertainment business and who already are, keep doing your thing, don't take the negativism, as a sign as to you failing. Take that and turn it into inspirations, to keep doing better. But wait a minute, don't mix up hatred over a misunderstanding over criticism. Those two things are a BIG difference. You're going to have liars who will not confront you truthfully, and that maybe a setback into your dreams and future, if you tend to believe in those people. Yes they will put a front, either because they want to see you fail, and or because they just can't be honest and don't want to hurt your feelings. You need those who will be blunt to you, that's the only way you can possibly go far. Those are the people who want you to succeed, and do everything in your powers to fix yourself, to progress in your work. Everything will take some time, but its up to you if you're willing to be patient to get to where you need to be, and want to be. Don't lose focus on what you strive for, don't let it become a blur. Make it clear, see it, and don't ever lose the sight of it, and but not least hold on to it tight. This message goes for anybody who strives for success, who has dreams and a future drawn into their notebooks, and is wanting that to be reality. Good Morning and Happy Tuesday!.

                                                                             Many Love From,
                                                                                               - Your Pretty Little Asian; Soka! MWAHS!!!!!!!
                                                       

Why Y0u Wr1t3 L1k3 Dat Foh?

The way some people write on social networks and text.. Im just looking at them like O_o :/ :? :| -_-  _-_ ?_? >_< WHAT???!!!!!! & have to go through Urban dictionary and or having to reread it 2+ times. Its always a guessing game at first, until the game fails miserably. Then that's when i'll be like what did you say? Can you rephrase that for me? Or could you write in a better format?When that doesn't work I just give up and not even reply back.. lolz.. Also to make it more difficult, they would make up new slangs, lingo w.e you want to call it and make up new abbreviations, as well. Like come one its 2013 almost '14. What are you trying to prove, being different? You want to be unique or something? Do you really have to type and text, everything out on how you exactly talk? Then there are some people who just doesn't make any sense period. Like they missed a few words, and don't even bother to fix it. You do gotta choice to edited them, and or at least type or text back with what you mean after realizing what you wrote didn't make any sense and unclear with the * at the end. Man, just like my cousin said. Waste of tax dollar on education for some of these people. I hope when they are in a professional field or environment  that they know how to write properly. I mean im no Mrs. Perfect when it comes to my sentence either and grammars are off. At least people can read what im saying, and not have a difficulty of trying to understand me, not having to search up Urban Dictionary or other web source to try and translate. Well thats all my ranting for now.. Time for bed, super sleepy. Good not all Sweet Dreams to another day to come. The Weekend!!! oh yeah!!!!.. 

                                             Many loves from Yours Truly,
                                                                                 Little Pretty Asian- Soka

My Heart Knows what it wants, but Knows better as well.

Its like 12:30 in the morning, can't fall back to sleep after my extended two hour nap. Im just up thinking about so much things, and the music on my "New Edition" radio playlist, which by the way my phone is a windows and doesn't have pandora, even though i've always known and had Slacker Radio. I actually love Slacker Radio though, both the same pretty much. Well anyways, oh man it's crazy how the table turns on you. I've been on a few dates and just hang out with, with a group of people, and which none i actually really liked, like liked liked. Yet they all seem to like me, and want more then being "friends". After I have already told them I don't really want to be in a relationship, Im not really looking for anything or anyone, its so hard trying to get it to these guys head. Its like they can't take a no or something, ugh guys. But one guy FREAK'N ONE GUY, got to me and I really like him, Im not so sure how he feels about me, I honestly don't know, I kind of get mixed signals. With every guy who came across me, never really stood out, never really kept me interested, and plus i have a thing about local guys. I tried dating some and only one i would actually considered, would try staying with, but its to late for that, and im truly happy for that person and where he is. That girl truly is blessed. Well anyways back to the point. We both agreed that we just not ready to be in a relationship, he has a hectic life, and I just came out of a long term relationship. Yet every day we would talk and text each other, well almost sometime every other or two. Then when things sort of cooled down, I sorta lost a bit of interest, then he goes and does or say something and that would make my day. Making me like him again. LIKE WTF!!!!... ugh!!!.. I can't help, but wanting to be with him and see where we could go, then again another part of me is saying, just stay friends im not ready, i got a long way to go, got plans ahead of me, my future, and so on. I know I don't want to be in a relationship right now, though I do miss that relationship bond, like hugging, cuddling, going out, holding hands, those sorts of things. I guess the truth is.. I like the ideas of a relationship, but thats not what I need right now. I want to accomplish my goals, be set. So when the time is right, I'd be ready to be in a relationship again. Im freak'n 21 crying out loud. I got lots of time for a relationship. I just hope he does stay in my life even if it just turns out to just being friends. He is an incredible person, and the fact he isn't local HELLO, maybe thats another reason why i like him much more. Sike Im kidding there is more then just that on why I actually like him and why he stand out. He so ambitious, charming, funny, smart, caring, very lovable, and very loved by many, head on right, head on strong, very positive, and strive for the best and goes for what he believes in. I love that about him, very hot, and he's tall and gorgeous , with a wonderful smile.. Ohhh goshh!!!... My heart want to give him everything, yet it knows better to respect anothers heart and wishes.. I never really understood anything im talking about now, when i was younger. Now i do, sucks growing up sorta. Well im done speaking my heart and mind out. I think Im ready for bed. Good night everyone sweet dreams. Mwahs from your's truly, Pretty Little Asian- Soka!.

A Cup Of Tea

As hard as it may seem, but just know there are some good people out there and who will walk into your life. Don't give up on the good, and expect nothing but the bad. Or else that is all you will b receiving. Honestly how can you want something good in life, yet your so scared of the fear of having something bad. Ying and yang, you can't run away from the bad, the good things in life will come to you, and balance with the bad. Its life, you can't always expect everything to come at you so easily like a cup of tea, and get the better things, without having to deal with some worse of things. That's just how it is. Life isn't fair, but doesn't mean it stops you from having anything good. Well Have a Thriller Thursday until next time.. Many love from your pretty little Asian, Soka MWAHS!!! Take care everyone.. 

By the way. The trees behind my house is absolutely gorgeous.. One of the few things I love about the Fall season.

Sometimes looking at views like this, I already have some of the Finer things in life. ^_^

What does insecurity got to do with it?

I never really had insecurities. Its just that in this day and age, some people make it really difficult to be really trusted. I mean come on can you fully trust someone in a manner of a yr. Some of us don't have any insecurity and low self esteem. Its the matter of fact that people in this world lie so much, and have many tricks. Plus love doesn't all happen over night. I have seen so many people fall in and out of "love" many times while I was in that 5 years relationship. I have seen some people I personally know running games, playing n messing around with good peoples heart. I can really care less or have the needs to ask for the password or snoop into a spouse things, I'd rather have him come to me honestly and openly without the pressure of me saying so. If he does then he is truly genuine. You can't force trust, force for love to happen from your spouse, for you. Cause during the mean time your spouse is going to have doubts about you questions and concerns. Its called being human, insecurity has nothing to do with it. Its all about getting to know you, your actions committing to things you tell your spouse. Pretty much all about your action basically, is what I'm saying. Also the fact who cares if you say your not like the rest. We have to determine that on our own. It truly isn't about insecurity well to me and others who relates, its all about the time and building up to get to that trust for you. If you done something wrong while being in that relationship with your spouse, you really think they can just get over it just like that. Surprisingly lucky enough, that they are even with you to give you another shot. But the shot of trusting you again wont be so easily. Thats your fault, you can't blame your spouse for your actions, then expect everything to be the way they were before.

Good Morning to Hopes, Dreams, Success, & Accomplishments

OMG I can't believe Im up. well I was awake earlier. :) But still, though I am yawning a lot right about now. Its absolutely gorgeous out.. I need to get myself some new sports bra, so I can start jogging again. Ugh! I think I lost some of my booty!!! Ooohhhh Nooo, that must never happen. DANG!... So yea some workout are in order for me right now. Still got this bingo wings yuk! gotta some arm workout as well as abs too. I want to look good for summer of 2014. Plus this really amazing guy im talking to, is starting to workout again. But he already looks gorgeous, but he sure isn't physically there with his body lolz. Awe!.. Neither am I so yeah.. By the way my headache is almost gone, I can still feel it just a bit. So I will be taking it easy again today. My well being is definitely important, this small town girl got some big dreams to accomplish. Actually the guy that i am talking to, he sort of have been inspiring me, keeping my head up and go catch my dreams. This guy, he's so different from most guys I ever met. He's all about succeeding, accomplishing things, getting things done, though he is lagging a bit on certain things, but don't we all ^_^ Well anyways. I'm truly grateful to have someone like him, just in general in my life. I don't really have much friends and what not, who are like that. Except those who are trying to get into the entertainment world, yet some bad side of them they are broke, and some are lazy, all about the sex, and parties. Not my cup of tea. All I have to say to all those who are going somewhere, and doing big things, or are even in the process. Keep at it, keep it up. if there is no one to encourage you, encourage yourself, cause that's who going to be with you at all times. Even when your journey has a bump in the road, or something might have stopped you for a little. Never let that dream of yours go and continue to it as soon as you get right back up on your feet. Some people are to comfortable working minimum jobs, factory jobs, settling down, married, kids, and haven't even tried to go after their dreams. Im not saying thats a bad thing, especially if they truly are happy with that life. Im just saying that's not me, I don't want that life just yet. When i was in a relationship, yeah all i wanted was a comfy life i'll admit, like my friends and family. Then when I see my other friends succeeding traveling, and getting things they want. Oh man I snapped out and was like I want that life before settling into anything. I want to chase my dreams and accomplish it. Make a good living, so one day I can give it all to my kids. Not having to over work myself as Im aging. Well anyways have a Terrific Tuesday everyone mwahs!!!!!..  Remember dreams don't die, and success never stops. Its up to you on what you want to do, and go with your life.

My NYX Products Review/First impression

First I just want to say that I love the fact all of the NYX product that I have purchased are Cruelty Free & the Color Lip Balm and Matte Lipstick are Hypoallergenic.


...:: Color Lip Balm::...
OMG I love this color lip balm, truly does keep you lips moist, after trying on the lip stick. That it dried up my lips, I tried the lip balm after and it kept it moist my lips from drying up. I decided to go for a neutral nude tone, cause as much as i love to have some color on my lips, im a simple gal. Plus neutral nude color goes with everything. So yes i do recommend this product all the way, especially if your lips does chap up quickly during this kind of weather. Also it smell really amazing. Each smell is different. But they all smell like a fruit, and me i love the sweet smell of fruits. :)

CLB07 Spasibo $3.09

Swatch 

...::Matte Lipstick::...
Besides the fact I absolutely love the color, it did stay on for quit awhile i have to say 4 hrs. before it completely came off. Not so bad you would say after eating and drinking water. Also it was moist I will say that, but ended up drying my lips after awhile. I don't know if it could just be the weather, since my lips tend to try quicker during the cold. It is pretty smooth as i applied it on. Some lipstick, when you apply them on kinda clunks up. I do like this lipstick so YAY!. It truly is a matte lipstick, no sheerness to it.

Matte Lipstick  $4.89

Name of the color lipstick i got

Swatch i did for it.

...::Stay Matte but Not Flat Liquid Foundation::...
What can i say about the "Stay Matte but Not Flat" Liquid Foundation. Pros didn't irritate my skin at all, and making it worse. Also it was a perfect tone for my skin color. Usually its hard to find a liquid foundation that is my skin tone. Im an olive, and i hate being an olive. I always end up having to mix, or just find a foundation a little lighter, and get a powdered foundation a bit darker so it evens out. So that's a good thing, but cons it was heavy as i was applying it on, and i didn't like that at all. I had to apply twice all over to get a better coverage, since the first time i applied it over my face. It was kind of translucent. That's all I really got to say about this product. Not so crazy about it, but the fact it match my skin perfectly, and didn't cause any irritation to my skin and my skin is super sensitive as well.

SMF02 Nude Nu $6.09

...::HD Studio Powdered Foundation!::...
 After, I have to say 5 hrs into wearing the product. I started to feel the oils around my nose and the T area of my four head. Also where my skin was starting to shine as well, but not so much as usual. Thus i still had to do a retouch. I have combo skin. Even though there were cons for me. They did have some pros as well. Most powdered foundation I used and have tried, really made my face looked caked up. Yet this product, I had no issues what so ever. It didn't make my face look cakey at all. Also yes it seriously does feel like silk on skin Not only that, but its the perfect tone for my skin. Normally other powered foundation is either to dark or a little to light, this was just right, so bonus!. The powder foundation feels incredibly smooth on my skin, I will say that. I do like this product very much. Beats all my other powdered foundation I ever used, But I don't quit Love the product either. As of right now I have mix feelings about the HD Studio powder foundation. Oh yes I almost forgot, the weight of the product it self, is kind of heavy. As to the ones i already own are more light weight. Probably cause it is bigger then some of my other ones. So that could be the reason.

$8.09

It's as big as my palm could grasp. 

SMP 07 Warm Beige

Showing how much there really is, its a decent amount.

This was right after i dolled up using the liquid and powdered foundation and the lipstick

I took a picture using my lap top to show what time I finished putting everything on.

After throughout the day, Around 10 o'clock pm I forgot to take a picture to show the time for after. >_<

REMINDER: Every product I have and will be using, when I talk about them. It my opinion to how it works for me personally, cause I know everyone isn't all the same. The product might work for you all differently, then it does me so keep that in mind. I was unsure if i should spend my money on getting these products to try out. Yet I don't regret it, I love makeup and i love NYX cosmetic products. Im not rich, im just a girl with passion, hopes, and dreams like everyone else. So when it comes to spending i always make sure I have a budget. Also regardless some of these product that doesn't make me go gaga over with, I will try to find different ways for you guys and myself included to make it better, and worth having. Like I said i will TRY, can't promise anything, but I love experimenting, and seeing the outcomes of it from before. Alright loves take care. BTW its almost Halloween!..